Marriage and divorce

My parents were married for over twenty-five years; until my Dad died. My mother married again, a few years later, and that lasted until his death.

No, my mother is not a serial killer (just in case someone is wondering.) My stepfather was in his nineties.

My point is that I had excellent examples in how to have a successful marriage. For some reason, I haven't been able to emulate them. I've been married twice, and divorced twice. As much as I wanted both marriages, I really, really wanted both divorces.

There are a lot of reasons that marriages fail and as much as I would like to cast all the blame on my exes (and probably have at times), it's usually a combination of things that cause them to end.

One of the biggest reasons, as I see it, is pretty simple. People change. Couples don't always change in the same way. The person you married becomes someone else, or you do. One or the other isn't happy and they want out.

Then it always seems to turn into a mess, no matter how amicably either party would prefer it not. Suddenly, there's a huge argument over who gets what, and any bickering and fighting that occurred before gets escalated into a battle that rivals a world war. People who just wanted out of an unsatisfying relationship wind up resenting or hating one another for years, and children are often stuck in the middle.

I have a solution.

Make marriage licenses renewable like drivers' licenses, with a provision for child custody attached. Every six or seven years, couples can decide whether or not the relationship satisfies them enough to continue. They have a 30 or 60 day period of time to renew or to structure their new lives. Everything they have accrued over the period of the marriage will be equally divided.

Divorce attorneys will hate my plan. I see that as a good thing. Less money for them, means more money for any kids.

The government might like my plan. It would mean more money in licensing fees, and of course, more jobs.

And those of us who changed, for whatever reason, could have a fresh start without all the drama.